發噱

從朋友的網誌copy and paste

Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die rich.

Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise.

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

School: A place where papa pays and son plays.

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".

Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.

Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouths.

Father: A banker provided by nature.

Criminal: A guy no different from the rest.... except that he got caught.

Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Classics: Books, which people praise, but do not read.

Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.